In this series of articles to date, we have looked at the ways in which a combination of experiential learning activities and a high quality coaching process can combine to optimise the chances of an individual being able to set behavioural change goals that are likely to be achieved. The issue now is making that change happen!
One interesting approach is to take some time to explore the assumptions that are being carried by the learner in relation to the change process. Which of these assumptions (conscious or unconscious) are going to be helpful and which might be limiting? I recommend highlighting the power of assumptions using RSVP Design's Challenging Assumptions puzzle activity. This apparently simple activity can be done either in groups or individually and is a strong reminder of how much of what we do is conditioned by past experience. It demonstrates that to be effective in making change happen, we have to be prepared to let go of old patterns and take the risk of trying something new.
If the activity is completed and debriefed using a reflective approach it can make the learner aware of the impact of their assumptions and the need to surface those in order to ensure that they are helpful rather than hindering.
Coaching questions that might be used to strengthen the individual behaviour change plan might include:
What assumptions might you be carrying with you as you attempt to make these changes? (Examples might be the assumption that the change will happen quickly, or be difficult, or have a negative impact on others....)
What assumptions might you be making about the support that is available to you and how other people might feel if asked for support?
What assumptions might you be making about your own ability to make these changes and how might you check whether these assumptions are valid?
Are there any assumptions that you need to let go, if you are going to be successful?
Another form of on-going support is to ask for honest and consistent feedback from others. This in itself can be difficult and should be explored as part of the coaching process. A willingness to seek out and consider feedback is a useful part of making successful changes because external validation can support your own sense of progress and changing feelings about your own behaviours.
Peter Gerrickens Feedback Game (available from RSVP Design) The Feedback Game and The Feedback Game Manual helps coaches to facilitate a safe environment for giving and receiving feedback, either in a small group, or on a one-to-one coaching basis. When used in the context of personal development it is a useful, strengths-based approach to asking for, and receiving feedback. Regular use of feedback activities can reduce the anxiety around 'what other people think of me' and encourage an openness to learning more about yourself through reflection on the observations of others.
In conclusion to these articles it is important to remember the pace and pressure of change. The value of a coaching approach such as the one we've been exploring together is that it accommodates on-going reflection and refinement of behaviour change goals and strategies. The change I wanted to make last week may no longer apply next week. The behaviour that irritated my old boss may be the very behaviour that a new boss sees as positive and productive. The most positive thing that we can do in terms of behaviour change is to learn how to stay aware of what works for us, pick up quickly on things that don't get the results we seek and constantly tweak and adapt what we do. It's the experiential learning cycle in every day action.
